In today’s readings,
we hear about jealous brothers and jealous pharisees. In the first reading,
Joseph’s brothers plot to kill him because they recognize that their father
loves Joseph best. In the Gospel, Jesus tells the chief priest that “the
kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will
produce its fruit.”
Envy is a dangerous
thing. It makes us act in ways we couldn’t imagine we’d ever act. And it’s a
funny thing, because envy can be disguised in many different ways. Agitation
with someone else, frustration, impatience. These can sometimes have envy at
the root.
How many times have I
been annoyed with someone only to discover (if I am willing to be honest with
myself) that the true cause of my feelings is some form of envy, even if very
slight.
If, then, I’m willing
to go a little further, my reflections will reveal that envy is usually caused
by my own insecurities, my own fear of failure, my own feelings of unworthiness.
When I find myself
suffering from envy, I generally find that behind this envy is fear -- fear
that I’m not as good as I should be, that I’m not succeeding in the areas I
hope to, that I’m unnoticed and unloved.
What is the answer to
fear? What is the solution to feeling small and unworthy? Jesus!
If I can be honest
with myself about my envy or fear or of feeling small, then I can also be
honest with the Lord. When I realize (or can admit) that my negative feelings
towards others come from my own human weakness, I gently (or maybe not so
gently!) give it back to God.
“All my ambitions,
hopes and plans” goes the popular Gospel song, “I surrender these into your
hands. For it’s only in Your will that I am free.”
What is the antidote
to envy? Humility. Letting go. Giving it all back to God. Never forget to trust
that Jesus’ love for you is deeper and wider and more profound than your human
heart can hope to comprehend. In Jesus, there is no need to fear. In him, there
is never ending love.
-Rachel Balducci
Litany of
Humility
O Jesus! meek and
humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire
of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire
of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire
of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire
of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire
of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire
of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire
of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire
of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of
being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of
being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of
suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of
being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of
being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of
being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of
being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of
being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may
be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may
be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the
opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me
the grace to desire it.
That others may
be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may
be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may
be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may
become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus,
grant me the grace to desire it.
